Pride Explored

Given that Pride is the sin that begets all other sins in some form or fashion it seems a fitting start. Now Pride and boasting are not my strong suits, so instead lets deal with things that would instill some pride, an education and a career.

Education

Thus far I’ve been a business major, an art major, an English major and a nursing major. Indecisive? I’d have to agree. The problem is I don’t know what I want to do as a career. Well I sort of do, but honestly don’t know if it’s something I’d be successful in. More on that later.

Do I go with something easily marketable that I already show aptitude in? Do I go for my passion despite seeing its real world use wither? Do I learn yet another skill set to broaden mine even further? Do I go to the community college and maybe transfer later? Do I go a quicker route with the technical college?

Trust me, by now I’ve worked out the logistics of nearly every one of those questions. A bit much I know but that’s a different sin. Despite all that work I still have no clue which path to take. Add into this that I want to give her the chance to go to grad school, which would be next to impossible if I started seriously working towards a degree thanks to our situations.

So a quick, marketable skill set would seem the ideal. The one I’ve thought about would be useful at home as well. A problem is that it’s also a skill set my sperm donor had and he nearly hated it by the time I was out of the house for good. The main problem though is that it gives little to no room for me to distract myself with courses I would enjoy and would further the things I want to do.

Career

You’ve seen my list of previous majors. For jobs I’ve done digital publishing and web design, installed carpeting, worked with horses, was manager of a convenience store, a military man, a baker, sales clerk in various retail businesses, hotel maintenance and even a CNA. Add that automotive repair, computer repair and general home construction plus all the crafts and hobbies I’ve had. Again, a bit indecisive of me.

During all those jobs one thing remained constant. I wrote. Not as much as I would like, and not enough for most to consider me a writer. I still claim the title though. It’s what I would love to do for a career but these days I see a flooded market, particularly with what I write.

Do I go with a career I might grow to hate or risk perusing one that turns out to be a dead-end? Do I go with something new and wholly unknown but could prove useful? Do I just say fuck it, stick to what I know, and let her be the bread-winner?

Conclusion

I’m an indecisive bitch. And I forgot to mention in all that I want farm land so that we’re less dependent on our income and more dependent on ourselves. But a full farm isn’t something I’ve worked with before so I’ll have to learn on the job or beforehand anyways. Realization, I’ve never gotten a straight answer if that’s something she would want. It’s a big change, a whole different way of life. Something new for us to talk through obviously after she reads this.

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~ by Psycosis on 2010 01 13.

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