Bump In The Road

Things have been going quite well for a while now, so it was only a matter of time it seems. That was this morning. The night before ended well, with me expressing that every time I touch and pet her isn’t about wanting something sexual and that if worked up enough I’ll make it quite clear. I wanted to make this clear since lately she’s been expressing disappointment that she hasn’t been seeing to me sexually and felt she was only teasing and frustrating me. Which she was, but in a way I enjoy. I know, I’m a complex and difficult to read bastard.

This morning she woke me quite a bit before dawn with some heavy fondling after a day long bout of teasing one another via text. I thought this was a sign she wanted to give herself over, so when she turned back over I followed and reciprocated. Only in her half sleep state she kept brushing it away. My first mistake, rather than vocalize what I wanted at that point, was to became more aggressive. She, being half asleep, didn’t respond well to that and, for the next hour or so, there was an uncomfortable silence in the bed as we sorted through the emotions.

Moods improved, I stayed in bed while she prepared for work. For those that don’t know, I stay home with our three demons while she works, and I’m not a morning person so I am prone to a bit of sloth. As she finished in the bathroom I brought her back to the bed intent on going down on her before work. Not so much as an apology as me wanting something physical, something sexual, before she headed to work. She pleaded some for me not too, but didn’t outright refused and did comply. As I went down, she squirmed and pulled away, it was tickling her more than anything else. At that point I was done. My mood for the time was shot. I told her to get ready for work, she kept insisting I come back and we try again. It was only a couple exchanges of that before I raised my voice and told her to get dressed. Thanks, in part, to my lack of communication earlier I was in an even worse mood. She hesitated, trying to get me to come back again. I got aggressive again, pushed her down on the bed and mounted her. I haven’t asked yet why, but she broke into tears. I’m assuming it was a combination of how the morning was going and the sudden aggression. I’m sure we’ll have her side soon enough. We went through our morning rituals once she was calmed enough to finish getting ready.

Later we talked in through via text. We’re relearning these roles, and this morning was a lesson in communication. The non-verbal cues that worked before the trio of little demons doesn’t now. We’ve changed. We’ve grown. Our desires have changed and grown as well. We agreed to be more vocal now. Something I admit to having trouble with due to a few past relationships. I’ve gotten better, but there’s still a good ways to go. We also agree that we need to find a middle ground between the gentle and the aggressive.

That’s all from the mind of Psycosis on this for now.

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~ by Psycosis on 2009 12 15.

2 Responses to “Bump In The Road”

  1. this morning was pretty topsy turvy. the sudden switch in aggression frightened me (for reasons that He already knows) and sparked the tears. this is a journey during which we will never stop learning more about ourselves individually and as a couple.

    i love You Daddy xoxo, babygirl

  2. Unfortunately every relationship is destined to have those “bumps”. Sounds like you two have what is needed to work through them.. Love and communication.

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