living in the moment

things have been quiet around here, mostly because there’s not much to report.  things have been pretty busy between home, my job, and the kids.  unfortunately, our sex life took a hit in the process.  things came to a head this morning and words were said.  while they weren’t meant, they stung nonetheless.  we had a moment of peace this afternoon while the kids were asleep to reconnect.  Daddy was fingering me at one point and managed to hit a spot that made me burst out crying.  i think it scared Him because He stopped but, when he hit that spot again, i started crying yet again.  i tried to explain to him that it was more of a cathartic cry than me being upset about something but i’m not sure if He understood.  He did say though that He will just keep going next time, rather than stopping, to see what happens.  sometimes, it’s hard for me to believe that me and Daddy have been together for so long and i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  i guess, after leaving my heart open for so long to other guys and having them ignore me, i expect Daddy to do the same.  i keep waiting for Him to decide that He’s bored with me or He’s tired of dealing with my issues.  yet, He’s still around and we’re still together so i guess i must be doing something right 🙂

~ by darkfairymomma on 2009 06 20.

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